Abuse is a horrible violation of God’s law and character. One only has to read a testimony of an abused child to know that this is the case. We know that while we are in the days of mercy toward sinners, such crimes will not go unpunished forever, and those who commit them and do not repent will encounter divine and eternal justice. The most horrible thing about abuse is not even the act, however, it is what the abuse does to the abusee psychologically. It warps their views of good and evil, their view of authority, and a lot of other things at the core of their identity. This is why the unthinkable happens — the abusee becomes an abuser.

Often part of the abuse is to designed to convince you of the rightness of what is being done to you, and many abusees begin to believe it. When you believe it, you become either a permanent abusee, or a future abuser, or both. In many more cases than we would like to admit, the abusee actually has some degree of choice to exit the cycle. When participating in the abuse this choice does not really seem real, or it would be excercised. There tremendous fear of some kind placed on the person to keep them from excercising it. In abusive religious systems, it’s usually associated with the loss of one’s salvation. With children it’s especially bad because they have no sense of personal autonomy or choice. In terror, and for seeming lack of options, people submit to abuse. 

Therefore, people either submit to abuse because of fear or because they believe it is some how needed, or deserved. These are the doors to the exits of the abusive cycle. If you are terrified of leaving, begin to plot your escape, and at your best chance, make a break for it. There may be great risk involved, but the risk is worth getting your soul back. If you believe that the abuse was needed or deserved, you need healing, and you need to repent. As a way of coping you’ve said to youself “this must be necessary because so and so is such a good person, they would never hurt me” but in reality they are hurting you. When you come to grips with the fact that they were not a good person, and they did actually hurt you and it was completely wrong and unjustified, you’ll begin to close the door on the cycle.

Sometimes we participate in a form of submission in human relationships that does not classify as abuse but takes on some of its unhealthy dynamics. For example, a well intentioned man desiring to lead his home well, and help his wife toward godliness, may in fact override her will and not even know it because she is deferring rather than trying to argue in what she knows is a difficult battle. Slowly her sense of herself begins to erode as he starts to exercise more and more initiative and she exercises less and less. Eventually this will blow up. He will be shocked because he thought all along that she was on board with the decisions they were making “together,” when in reality, she was not expressing her will. Who is at fault? In reality, they both are. Of course the man is responsible for overriding her will, even if it was unintentional. But it was the responsibility of the woman to let her voice and preference be heard. This is difficult because it will cause conflict especially at first, by not expressing herself, it takes on the dynamics of abuse, even though both parties are acting in good faith and there is no abuser — The woman’s identity is suffocated by the man’s.

22 thoughts on “Submission and Abuse

  1. I believe with my whole heart that Congress Wbn of Dr Noel Woodroffe is a cult and that it is not led by the Holy Spirit but by purely the wisdom of a man. This movement has killed several spiritual churches in Kenya and is causing serious tension in marriages where one spouse is not a follower.Only the devil can be happy to do this. I have seen formerly powerful soul winning brethren cease to evangelise,pray less and become plastic. Now they watch CWbn dvds more than read the Bible, yet on the face of it they are deceptively progressive with material things. Most members are middle class and working. The poor and uneducated are, in a subtle way, left out by the exclusive use of English as the medium of communication,yet the main church is in a poor neighborhood. Believer, beware,this thing is glittering but is not gold. Looks like it is alive but is plastic. I put it to you that it is not from the Holy Spirit of God. With all due respect to Dr Woodroffe a deceiving spirit is involved like in all cult leaders before him. Prayer and discernment are very important in these times of the end. May the Holy Spirit help us interpret the Bible and not the sole,dictatorial, mostly allegorical interpretation by one man or a group of men around him.

    1. dont just attack things you dont understand it may just back fire on you. i write this because i love you in Christ. I pray God opens your eyes to see what you ought to and understand his mission.

    2. I am a leader in C-WBN. Incidentally, the Church, or as we call it, Kingdom Community, that I lead was birthed through evangelistic efforts supported by the evangelistic team of the core Kingdom Community in Nigeria, the Reformation Centre, led by Paul Ogedengbe, the C-WBN Regional Coordinator for West Africa. He led the evangelistic efforts personally. We continue to pursue evangelism vigorously. But you must understand that our emphasis is on maturing the believer. We do not measure progress by number alone. We understand that we preach a message that emphasizes personal sacrifice or death to self and accurate lifestyle based on accurate sight of Christ and His Kingdom through the revelational wisdom of the Holy Spirit. This message has proved hugely unpopular with the traditional response to the Gospel which is driven by emotion. It has taken us over 20 years to develop our core structures to eliminate any gap between declaration and manifestation. Now, we are in the era of sharing with other believers the treasures that God has engraced us with for the whole Body of Christ. I invite you therefore to visit the nearest C-WBN Community to check out these things. Concerning language, I have seen otherwise illiterate church members become sharper mentally and spiritually and gaining the ability to express and communicate their understanding of the word of God through interactions with the teachings in our Kingdom Communities. Language has always proved a powerful means of elevating and broadening the mentalities and imaginations of these people and conveying the mind of God accurately to them. However, we have a mission church here in Nigeria in one of our rural areas, and the teaching is interpreted into the local language through an interpreter. We do not therefore have a policy of the exclusive use of the English language. Our messages, including the videos you spoke about, are translated into all major languages of the world. I agree with you that prayer and discernment are necessary but many times prejudice can block communication from the Holy Spirit. I am hoping that you will reflect on this seriously.

  2. i believe strongly in cwbn and i strongly think you need to give your life to christ because it seems that you’ve lost the whole essence of christianity which is actually following christ

    1. All your comment does is prove to regular Christians that the concerns about CWBN are valid. Only a cult-like group convinces its members that if you doubt the group you might not be saved. Concerning the “essence of Christianity” clearly you have not read the rest of this blog. I encourage other readers of this blog to pray for you.

  3. I myself had more questions than understanding (for six years) about many aspects of the congress until the first of July 2012.
    The scripture to live is Christ and to die is gain became very real in me as God stripped me of all that was false and replaced it with a whole lot of Himself. It was like heaven invaded earth and the consequences are rolling on in my life. I’m a new person, something that I always thought happened at salvation and then you worked through the rest. God IS doing something brand new and a bit beyond our current ability to fully categorise and reason through. God is doing something SO GOOD and very real.

    1. Why is Congress WBN a cult?

      Noel Woodroffe claims God appeared to him and asked him “Can I trust you?” Noel Woodroffe claims he has been selected by God to lead the church as it is today into something brand new. (isnt it strange that Woodroffe says that God has put his trust in him)

      Noel Woodroffe is claiming to have much higher spiritual authority than all believers. He is claiming to be closer to God than all. He is claiming to be an Apostle like Paul maybe even greater.

      With this Claim all challenges to his interpretation of Scripture are denied. No matter how much he twist scripture the followers must believe in it.

      If that is not enough to scare you well he has some doctrine that is just blasphemous. For instance he is teaching his followers that God is looking for a man (a collection of believers) to mature fully into the stature of Christ, this is even beyond sinless perfection, it is absolute perfection the full measure of Christ himself; so that they may represent the whole body of Christ before the Father so that Christ could return. That is why so many churches are abandoning the Great Commission and chasing after this the full measure of Christ(delusion). They do not believe that it is Christ who will supernaturally transform the church when he returns. Essentially they have moved from gazing upon Christ our risen saviour and patiently waiting for his return to an intense focus on themselves and their own righteousness.

      All cults are built around a personality claiming to have unquestionable authority.

      1. Thanks Kincaid for your views on Dr Woodroffe. My question is have you ever met him in person? or who told you about these claims? When did he say that he has much higher spiritual authority than all believers or that he is closer to God than all. Or he is”an Apostle like Paul maybe even greater”. Even if he says he is an apostle is that a strange thing seeing that God gave gifts to men that some should be “…apostles…prophets…evangelists…pastors and teachers in Ephesians 4:11.
        When he say that God is looking for a man, is that not Biblical. In Ezekiel 22:30 God says He is looking for a man to stand in the gap. Also Ephesian 4: 11-16 the ministry gifts are to prepare the Church to maturity! Is that blasphemous to you? So my friend before you brand anyone as a cultist check your facts first and as for the twisted scriptures you talk about note them down and give the background in which they were used. As for Congress WBN all the information is on the website in black and white (www.congresswbn.org). Read for yourself.

      2. Woodroffe claims God appeared to him and commissioned him to do what he is doing now, clearly claiming greater spiritual authority than others.
        Luke 16:16
        16 “The law and the prophets were until John. Since that time the kingdom of God has been preached, and everyone is pressing into it.” I didn’t say that prophets did not exist. They existed until John the baptist. Now I know you can point out some prophetess in the New Testament but clearly there is a distinction between a prophet in the new and a prophet in the old. A prophet in the new would be a preacher. He would preach what the apostles have spoken. The words of the prophets are the Old Testament.
        The words of the apostles is the New testament. 2 Peter 3: 2 (NKJV) that you may be mindful of the words which were spoken before by the holy prophets, and of the commandment of us,[a] the apostles of the Lord and Savior,”
        Ephesians 2:20 “(The Church) having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone” So unless God is changing the foundation there is no need for apostles and prophets.
        Ezekiel 22:30, was fulfilled by Christ. That has nothing to do with the church.
        1st John 2:27 “27 But the anointing which you have received from Him abides in you, and you do not need that anyone teach you; but as the same anointing teaches you concerning all things, and is true, and is not a lie, and just as it has taught you, you will[a] abide in Him.”
        When John says we don’t need teachers what he is saying here is that they should not be seen as being spiritually greater than you. For it is the Holy Spirit that teaches all believers concerning things. So a believer can be equipped by simply spending time in God’s word. Matthew 23:8-10 “8 But you, do not be called ‘Rabbi’; for One is your Teacher, the Christ,[b] and you are all brethren. 9 Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven. 10 And do not be called teachers; for One is your Teacher, the Christ.” Apart from this showing that Teachers don’t actually equip anyone, it also shows we are not to view any man as spiritually superior.
        Leaders are needed in a church because it would be chaos if believers gathered together and no one leads. Isnt it interesting that Paul gives instructions to how churches should conduct themselves, He spoke of how the elders, bishops and deacons should function but never mentioned anything about the office of the apostle or the office of the Prophet.

  4. Well, I personally dont refute the claims about cults. B4 joining C-wbn I preached about being on look out for the false prophets cultism and many others on that line and i still do. One key pointers to a cult or false prophet is the scriptures. Paul a man who was a true follower of Christ said imitate me as imitate Christ 1 Cor 4.16 This has been swept out of the christian world because the leaders have no confidence that they can be followed in all that they do, beside what they say in front of them who sits church pews, because there is no integrity. We have been overcome by the reality of the scriptures, Lev 11: 44-45, 20:7 1pet 1:16 like be holy for I am holy because we have set it so far off as though when God spoke it he did not mean it or if he did he meant in another world. When Jesus came here even those who were of the “church” missed him because they were looking for someone who have their own description of Christ and missed him while still still searching the scriptures john 5:37: 40 . This comes down to one issue, C-wbn is lead by Dr. woodroofe and other leaders, and does not have business of convincing one whether its a cult or not. you are free for your interpretation and putting it out there. Here is the case, If you say its not of the Holy Spirit, be sure for both your heart and spirit rest you call what is from the Lord of the enemy Acts 5: 33-39. Two. be sure that you are not fighting your brothers and sister just because you got in there with a critical heart and failed to understand where this is from. three. If for sure you have ever been affected by cultism before or too fearful of the enemy strategy of scaring you by the use of the cult and so became rigid of accepting any new understanding of Gods word, ask the Lord to strip off that fear and put in your heart discernment, so that you can clearly hear His Holy Spirit. Read the scriptures please.

    Another issue I would mention to those who might be depending on this blog to know the truth, Dr. Woodroofe has no higher Authority as it is claimed by the writer here than any one else. He repeatedly says that there would be others there that are building the kingdom just as he has been called to build and they have authority too in their context. Pastor of any church have authority over others therein because God has called him into that position, so is any children pastor over those he overseesor an elder of the church. So if Dr. has founded C-wbn he has authority over what God called him to build. Now taking it out of context so that you can bring your point home is deceiving and we can make our case ‘who is the deceiver’.

    He does not at any time claim to be closer to God than any one else, these are just pure lies, with all due respect seriously to actually say this means you want your point home or you were gossiping somewhere and you came up with this. to say that all who follow C-wbn are not reading the bible is false. I read my bible, I study well, In fact scriptures makes sense even more as I grow in Christ and build my marriage, become a good worker, stand a long side my brothers in Christ who are in c-wbn and even those who are not there.
    ‘They do not believe that it is Christ who will supernaturally transform the church when he returns. Essentially they have moved from gazing upon Christ our risen saviour and patiently waiting for his return to an intense focus on themselves and their own righteousness.’ Where does the scripture say this? That christ will supernaturally transform the church and therefore church should only sit there and wait for this event to happen? The greatest emphasis over the last few months was and even today in C-wbn is Looking at Him (Christ) so when you say we have moved our gaze from Christ then you are talking about another C-wbn that i dont know about and I would say its a cult if actually it does that. For C-wbn we are looking at Christ, following the command that you have to work out your salvation with fear and trebling phil 2:12, the love of the body of Christ (church) is a also a major emphasis today. Show me a believer who does not focus on his own righteous walk and I will show you a believer who is falling apart. Jesus has made us clean Rom 12 Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, HOLY AND PLEASING —this is your true and proper worship. You got to be holy its finished on the cross, walk in it, dont be dormant or challenged by the world that the things of God are not real. he has called us a holy people Deuteronomy 7:6 For you are a people holy to the LORD your God. The LORD your God has chosen you out of all the peoples on the face of the earth to be his people, his treasured possession. 1 peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.

    ‘ If that is not enough to scare you well he has some doctrine that is just blasphemous. For instance he is teaching his followers that God is looking for a man (a collection of believers) to mature fully into the stature of Christ, this is even beyond sinless perfection, it is absolute perfection the full measure of Christ himself; so that they may represent the whole body of Christ before the Father so that Christ could return’
    no one said its beyond sinless dear, you are adding it so that it may sound bad on the eyes of the reader. but anyway, is not God in a business of getting us to that place. look at this scripture and tell me whether its in your bible – English Standard Version (©2001) Eph 5:27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. it is consistence with the will of God right, look at this others songs of songs 4:7, 2 Corinthians 4:14, Ephesians 1:4 col. 1:22. Its God’s will for us to be sinless. is it possible? yes if the the word of God says so. is there anyone sinless yet? No do we want to be sinless? Yes as much as God want us to be and commands us to be like him. Personally I want God to look at me and see someone who has believed him so much to be sinless, who has seen his word and done it. am I there? not yet, but its my daily pushing forward and praying and struggling with overcoming sin.

    become mature: Eph. 4: 11″ It was he who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, 12 to prepare God’s people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13 until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ”. are these not the scriptures? Now you are twisting this with the issue of the collection of believers, again so that it can sound strange, but we all well know as believers that the church is the body of christ not limited to an individual person ! cor.12:12-31. Paul and other apostles exults the church to love one another as a body of christ, christ is the head to the body the church, where is it “cultic” to say that the body of Christ is the church a collection of all believers no matter which church you come from, if you are washed of the blood of the lamb. If then we agree that church is a collection of believer Dr. Noel teaching this verse as he does many others and saying that Jesus left the commission to the five ministry to build the church to come to fullness of Christ and you say this is blasphemous, then make your case, who is blaspheming?

    I know its long blog and I dont do this often but it was good for any one who really reads between the line to see what the truth is and even you, if you got info from the wrong source. Am not judging any one, am just presenting just a tip of the truth so that it can help you and others see, rather than jumping in and putting things on the web that are not true, not only for C-wbn but other faithful men and women of God. Jesus said John 13: 34-35 34“ A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” love does not do this. Go find more about C-wbn with a heart that is ready to know the truth, ask God in your secret place to review the truth. if its cult make your case here and I will back you up on it if its true. more so dont do this to any other believers who are fighting the enemy to win the war and get to heaven by whichever way the Lord has commissioned them. if they its not true, you got a clear understanding of what they do, please do the good job of warning me and others in Christ to watch out. its true there is false prophets and cults in the world today but I am sure this is not one of them. If i had time I would have cleared the claim about ‘ God trusting in Dr. Noel’, ‘evangelism’ and others coz the way you put it is not right, for now ask any question and if you are genuine am more than happy to answer.

    1. Of course Paul said follow me as I follow Christ for he was one of the true apostles. in 1st John 1:3 “that which we have seen and heard we declare to you, that you also may have fellowship with us; and truly our fellowship is with the Father and with His Son Jesus Christ.” Yeah I follow the apostles, the apostles of scripture.

      Study eschatology to see the way in which scripture describes the end of this world. Because it is ironic that the words of Woodroffe is eschalogical. However he doesnt seem to study what the bible actually says on it.

      1 John 3:2,3 “Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.”

      Full Maturity will be realized when Christ returns, because it is beyond the grasp of humans through their own obedience to God. So when scripture says until we are mature it means until Christ returns we will live by the words of the Prophets (The Old Testament) and the words of the Apostles (The New Testament). Scripture is the Word of God.

      The New testament is not veiled like the Old testament was to the Jews, the veil is removed when we are in Christ. 2 Corinthians 3:12-18

      It has not been the teachings of the Church for over 2000 years that the office of the Apostles is an ongoing office to be occupied. Consider this, when each apostle died who succeeded each one? The only position that was replaced was Judas (the Betrayer) and that was to fulfill prophecies in the old testament. But after that we have each apostle dying and no one replaced them. When Paul died he didnt commission anyone to take his place. And why did he not give instructions to the one holding the position of apostle and prophet in his instructions to how churches should conduct themselves.

      Once again i Quote Ephesians 2:20 “(The Church) having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone” So unless God is changing the foundation there is no need for apostles and prophets.

      In a similar fashion the pharisees believed that through their strict adherence to the law they could be justified not realizing that only God could justify them by providing the Messiah. And now the church must understand that it is not that you can attain to the fullness of Christ through your own obedience, it is a promise that must also be fulfilled by God. It is to God’s Glory that he does it, we praise him for we know we could not do it ourselves.

      1 John 4:1 “Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits, whether they are of God; because many false prophets have gone out into the world.” Just because I closely examine a person’s claim does not mean I just have an unbelieving heart or cynical or that I have been warped by abuse. It is my job, it is every believer’s job.

      Woodroffe teachings are not all false, obviously there is truth where he correctly interprets scripture, but there are some major errors that should cause red flags to go up. Look at the amount of time that is spent studying the words and terminology that comes from Woodroffe. And mostly because of his heavy intellectual statements.

      Certainly he does not follow the example of Paul in 1 Corinthians 2:2-12 (NKJV)
      2 For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ and Him crucified. 3 I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. 4 And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, 5 that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

      1. Nice to hear from you kingcaid, one question though: who made Paul an apostle? Wasn’t it Jesus and if it was, isn’t it possible for Jesus, who never changes, to make whomever He wants to be an apostle? If Dr. Woodroffe is not following Paul’s example then who’s is He following?

    2. You don’t jnow CWBN nor its true objectives… Gp kneel sincerly nefore God and ask him to tell you the truth… Do you even have interaction with the father? If yes you wiil be surprised to hear the answer..

      I was a teacher in one of the CWBN churches for 6 years… I know what i am talking about… Run away from them NOW.

      1. You don’t know CWBN nor its true objectives… Go kneel whole heartedly before God and ask him to tell you the truth… Do you even have interaction with the father? If yes you will be surprised to hear the answer..

        I was a teacher in one of the CWBN churches for 6 years… I know what i am talking about… Run away from them NOW.

  5. Thanks for your comments everyone. While I will continue to accept thoughtful comments reflecting different perspectives what is going on, I’m not going to entertain a big debate here.

  6. You are entitled to your opinion. Our ways are not the same why bothering yourself with somebody else’s way. If you feel your way will take you to your destination then follow it faithfully & stop calling others names because our path are not the same. Anyway may God open your eyes to see. Amen!

  7. believe tht congress is a true christian thng tht has come out different 4rm atha churches whre it not only helps u grow spiritually bt in all sectors of life[spiritual,social,education,business]of its members whch is wht helpin n siness growth means….

  8. man!arent we christians supos to be 4givin??has Dr Noel ever condemned any of your religions??noo!! I know he is asking the Lord our God everyday to forgive all of you!!and thats what we all should be doing! and soo what if hes a cult??why should we botha that?? is this the only cult in the world that we have to pick on??what about those who whorship the statues??idols??who we see on pictures bowing to them??why cant we pick on them?? why is there hatred?? jesus sad “u c murder as i take a sword and strike my brother, but i tell you, murder is when you hate you brother..”..and really guys!!our very problem is the we dont go to the source and ask! we just hear from others and carry on from there!!finally!

    “LET THOSE WITHOUT ANY SIN..CAST THE FIRST STONE..”

    I LOVE YOU JESUS!!

  9. My parents, wound up belonging to Congress wbn several years ago. They got involved, with a church that collasped. The pastor of that church had 95% of its memebers leave.Then he and his wife started anot her “church” with a weird name. I love me parents very much, but when I questioned them about what kind of church it was and what they were about, they said they were part of Congress wbn. I was like… huh. My mom told me that their were several tiers with in the church , just like the actual US Congress. Confusing ! They also got into various jobs, similar to Amway. When I asked about their mission, it was very confussing. My mom admitted that it is very in intellectual , and hard to explain. We grew up in a Christian church, and to see my beloved parents, who have a great personalities , and have done so much for me and so many other people. It just saddens me to see the deception of this group. I prayed the other day that God would get them out, and put them into another path, if that’s his will. I prayed that before even reading this blog. To any and all out their , please pray for my parents exit of this organisation as well as others.

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